Feelings For Today.

I love my life right now. The more I think about it, the more I love it. Justin and I have the same work schedule, we get to go to bed together, and we get weekends to sleep in together and spend together. 

Soon, that is going to be pretty much gone. I can't stop thinking about it and wondering how something can make me feel so sad yet so happy at the same time. 

I just wish that I knew what was going to happen and that I could skip time and Justin would be done with the Police Academy and we can get used to our new lives. I am so not excited to live alone. Justin is asleep right now and I am out in the living room and I heard a sound and all I wanted was to go snuggle into my man's safe arms. But if I can get through the living alone part then I am good. I just have to tell myself that I can do it. 

I also want to try to go get my Nail Tech license while Justin is at the academy because then I will be really busy doing something and working hard while Justin is also working hard. Because the hardest part for me about him going to the academy is that he will be busy learning all his police stuff while I'm just sitting out on deck lifeguarding and being super bored. So if I can go get my license and get started in my career, then we are both working hard and it will be ten times easier! That's just an idea. I hope something like that can work out. 

I know that in the future, when we are married, have kids, and get super busy with our crazy lives, we will look back on this time that we spent together in a little one bedroom house, and wish we could go back to snuggling and staying in bed all day just being so in love with each other. I love Justin so much. And I already miss what isn't gone yet. But of course I support him and I am so excited for him to do the thing that he has always wanted to do! It will be an amazing experience and the start to the rest of our life together! 

Potential long distance relationship

Can I live in our house alone? Can I sleep in our bed alone? Can I get past being a worrier? 

I keep asking myself all these questions. The answer to all of these is yes. Because I don't have a choice. And at the end of the day, all that matters to me is that I have justin. He's applying for a job with the highway patrol. Which means he could be going to the police academy for 7 months. 7 months. every time I think about it I want to cry. And I think about it a lot. Especially at work because all I do is just watch people swim and I think about literally everything. 7 months is such a long time. The only thing that gets me through that is when I tell myself, "7 months is nothing when I could potentially have 60 more years with this man." And that makes me think I can get through it. 

Yesterday another great opportunity came up. He talked to someone from the sheriffs department and they are looking to hire deputies as well! And when Justin told me that I was like oh my gosh.. Go for it! He would love being a sheriffs deputy so much more than a highway patrolman. I know it. Plus he would only be at the academy for 3 months and not 7. So there's another plus! I really think he should take the sheriffs deputy job. He would love it. But it's up to him. Whatever he decides, I'm behind him all the way. This is what he has always wanted. But part of me also feels sad because as soon as he is hired at one of those jobs... Our life of same work hours, going to bed together, and having a steady schedule is over. However, our true adult life will start.